I Just Want to Die

All I can do is try. Sadly, trying isn't good enough these days. Third party debt collections are calling me daily, reminding me to send in my payment or the debt will be prosecuted. I tell them I have no bank accounts, no credit cards, no job, no insurance, no SS, no alimony, no child support, no income. I live off my husband's job at a grocery store. No one wants money orders sent through the mail anymore, even certified or priority mail. It's all electronic payments. I am not hooked up to the system. I and my hubby distrust banks since the last one we used to pay one of my loans decided to have Sun Insurance in California run us $200 in debt every month for 3 months before we stopped it. I live in Canada. It's illegal for me to obtain a job. I can barely afford to send payments in Canadian currency, let alone American funds. No one I know has the money to give/loan us. Banks won't give us a loan because we have nothing.

Everytime the phone rings, I cringe.

Everytime a debt collector asks for me, I cry.

Everytime I hang up after speaking to a debt collector, I try to kill myself.

Everytime, my husband checks the lock keeping the knives and scissors away from me.